


What Would They...?

by tinkerheck



Category: Hakuouki
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-20
Updated: 2013-02-20
Packaged: 2017-11-29 23:27:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/692745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinkerheck/pseuds/tinkerheck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I admit it. This is a list. I guess. I've watched the anime and played the game waaaaaaaay too many times, and I feel like I've lived with them myself. So, I got creative. </p>
<p>Some sites don't *allow* lists, but writing this made me laugh, and I might continue it, and I'm open to suggestions for various subject matter...</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Would They...?

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: Hakuouki Shinsengumi Kitan and all its related media belong to the Goddess of Bishie Art, Yana Toboso, and to Idea Factory, Sony, Studio DEEN, and Aksys Games. This is a work of Fan Fiction. No infringement intended. I spent money to learn about them, I earn no money in borrowing them.
> 
> Warning: while this is just a list, it features bad language, and is Toshi/Chizuru, Souji/Hajime and *gasp* Heisuke(unwillingly)/Itou.
> 
>  
> 
> ++++++++ chapter notes ++++++++  
> I fly beta-less. Please forgive the typos.  
> As always, thanks for reading!

 What kind of car would they drive?

 

•

 

**Hijikata Toshizo:**

A fully functional mint condition Porsche 550. 

 

Toshi would simply have to have something vintage, relating to the fact that he is one hundred percent swordsman and will never, ever be a wielder of modern weapons. At the same time, that vintage car will have to be in perfect working order (because he WILL drive it) and it will have to be sleek & powerful (like the man that WILL drive it). 

It will be glossy black, with a black leather interior, and any superfluous décor will be in... black. 

(Chizuru will hang a purple cat-shaped air freshener from the rear-view mirror when he is not looking, and while he fucking hates that, he doesn't remove it either.)

 

•

 

**Okita Souji:**

A 2013 Mustang V6 Premium Convertible

 

While you might think that the Kondou-worshipping Okita would also drive a Hummer, that is not the case. 

Let's face it, _this guy is hot._  

Too hot for the conspicuousness of a Hummer (it is beneath His Hotness), and too hot for the flashy sports car (it would constantly be competing with His Hotness, and it will fail. Miserably). 

He would drive the strongest, fastest, most chick-magnetic, most solidly built and cleanly designed muscle car available. Dudes want to be him in this car. Chicks want to be _seen_ with him in this car. Certain dudes want to be _with_ him in this car. And because it's a convertible, the man can look up at the sun as it filters through his perfect fingers anytime he wants. 

Saitou Hajime is frequently seen riding with him, and while the King of Cool always appears non-plussed, he secretly _loves_ it when the wind blows through his long dark locks (although he himself could never come to own a convertible). 

Apparently Okita loves it when Saitou's hair flies free too, as the one and only decoration in his beloved Mustang is a suspicious length of white hair band that hangs from the rear-view mirror and is tied in loving, complicated knots...

It will be metallic forest green with copper highlights, and espresso leather interior. It will always be pristine, inside and out. And if you are the unfortunate person to get it dirty, _he'll kill you_. Unless, of course, you are Chizuru... then you will only be _told_ you are going to be killed.  :)

 

•

 

**Saitou Hajime:**

A Honda CR-Z EX Hybrid

 

First and foremost, everyone knows that Saitou respects the environment. But Saitou also knows that a physical exam is not for showing off, and a car is [mostly] for convenience in getting around in. Therefore, like his physical exams, he prefers that his riding experience goes smoothly and efficiently, so that he can get back to what matters most – training. So he picks a good, decent car... well-designed, reliable, fuel-efficient, safe, fast enough, environmentally-friendly, modestly attractive, no unnecessary frills, and not too expensive.

The interior and trunk are disinfected and vacuumed regularly so that he can set his precious katana and training gear in a clean place while driving to the dojo, or to give his precious Okita a clean place to, uh, _get comfortable in_ when they go... um... parking. 

Yeah. That's it. 

Okita also keeps begging Saitou to break the law and surpass the speed limit, _"just this once, Hajime-Kun!",_ but his pleas always fall on deaf ears. 

Dark blue exterior, tinted windows (hey - he's _shy,_ remember?), dark blue interior with occasional white accessories that are understated and easy to keep clean. 

 

•

 

**Yukimura Chizuru:**

Ever practical, ignoring her grand demoness status, and always sacrificing for others, Yukimura Chizuru takes the bus. 

 

However, she can occasionally be found in the back seat of Hijikata's Porsche.  *snicker*

it should be noted that she begs to drive everyone's car. No one is stupid enough to let her, except maybe Sano, but that's a bike, so he gets to hug her close while she tries.

 

•

 

**Kondou Isami:**

The head of the Shinsengumi Family is both powerful and accommodating. He will drive a Hummer. 

 

It will be metallic brown with a beige interior, probably made out of some indestructible synthetic fabric. Heisuke will spill ice cream and sake in it on a regular basis. 

 

•

 

**Yamanami** **'Sannan-San'** **Keisuke** **:**

A customized Ford Pinto. 

 

Like its owner, a very weird & dangerous ride. A death-trap with a strangely alluring, albeit frightening personality. The kind of car you cannot resist getting into, just to be able to say that you did... but when you find yourself several miles down the road going seventy in a thirty-five, windows splintering, frame rattling, and your driver hysterically oblivious to your abject fear while he pushes things to the limit, you _really_ wish you hadn't climbed on board. 

It'd be a nondescript medium-blue with spray can rust-cover patches in large, unfortunately placed locations. The interior is clean enough, but will feature permanent dark stains – and trust me you do not want to know how they got there. 

 

•

 

**Harada Sanosuke:**

A Harley-Davidson Fat Boy Lo

 

As he favors (and excels at) the spear over the katana, Sano would also not drive a car. 

Like the man, this bike is big & powerful, and so very _nice_ to look at. Plus it easily accommodates a passenger behind him, most likely female, and most likely a new one every week. And they _all stay friendly with him_ , because what idiot could ever stay angry at Harada Sanosuke?

It would be matte black with sleek stainless steel highlights, and a dash of blood red leather here and there. 

 

•

 

**Nagakura Shinpachi:**

A Kia Soul.

 

He saw the commercial too many times. Then he heard the song too many times. And, unfortunately, his choice in a car has made him a victim of the zeitgeist, yet again.

Shinpat-San's "sweet fucking ride, dude!" will eventually suffer the same fate that Shiranui's did. 

I mean, dancing hamsters? _Really?_

It's lime green... just like the commercial... just like the headband. *sigh*

(Just to keep it fair, because I kinda like Nagakura even though he'd be a relentless sports freak, after a while he sells the Kia Soul and gets a used Pontiac Firebird, which, after he fixes it up, gets him all kinds of tail. So he's happy now and Shiranui is still screwed.)

 

•

 

**Toudou Heisuke:**

Failed his driver's exam. 

 

Is seen (illegally) tooling about Edo on a loud, stinky, used teal & pink Vespa (wicker basket included) that Itou Kashitarou bought for him.

 

•

 

**Inoue Genzaburou:**

A station wagon. 

 

And, strangely enough, _everyone_ wants to be driven around in it. 

Gen-San's ride is fully pledgemobile standard – avacado green exterior with real polished wood insets, a dark green fabric interior, and lots and lots of cup holders for when he has to pick up the terrible trio from the latest bar they got kicked out of. 

 

•

 

**Yamazaki Susumu:**

His responsibilities dictate that he doesn't have time for actual car ownership. 

 

But he doesn't get enough love, _he should have had his own route_ , is a total gentleman, and I adore Susu to pieces... so he just drives me around in my crappy car. 

Or sometimes we just stay in.

 

•

 

**Shimada Kai:**

A Jeep Grand Cherokee

 

Big, tough, reliable, and able to cut through all sorts of crap with a permanent smile on his likable face.

Olive Green.

 

•

 

**Itou Kashitarou:**

Walks everywhere he goes, because in the end, although he is crafty and manipulative, he is also an idiot. Occasionally gets drunk and begs rides off of Heisuke on his Vespa, and hugs the young man entirely too tight while on the road.

 

•

 

**Kazama Chikage:**

Why drive when you can fly? 

 

Still, just to drive the Shisengumi's Vice-Commander insane, Kazama bought every last Porsche 550 that was left on the market right after Hijikata bought his, which has forced the poor, beautiful human to _come to Kazama_ and _beg_ for spare parts. 

 

•

 

**Hime-Sen:**

Is a princess. 

 

Is driven everywhere. By someone else (most likely Kimigikyu). While she sits in a lavish back seat. With a bar.

The ride changes frequently, but it is _always_ fresh & sweet. 

Hey – before you get too envious, remember she's a sweetheart, _everyone's darling_ , and she totally deserves it!

 

•

 

**Kimigikyu:**

Does not own her own car, but can fix any vehicle you see fit to break. 

 

Mad driving skills as well, the Transporter himself would be hella jealous.

 

•

 

**Shiranui Kyo:**

Blew all his ryo on a fully loaded Limited Edition PT Cruiser.

 

He thought he would be the envy of the crowd. Now, he is broke and they are all just laughing. Especially Nagakura.

 

•

 

**Amagiri Kyuujyu:**

Thinks cars smell, so he takes the bullet train. 

 

Give his seat to an old women every time he rides, and holds her shopping bags to boot.

 

 

•

**Author's Note:**

> If you read it, **please** leave a comment. Thanks!


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